Took me two and a half years
just to relase a mix tape
Feels like the longest 2 years of my life
cuz it seems like they were just full of
drugs tears and hate
couldnt gather my thoughts with this writers block
cuz suicide was all i could contemplate
I gave up on everything I had
I even gave up on living
All the homies back stab
and its been real hard forgiving
on the rollercoaster of emotions
cryin tears fillin up oceans
so now they got me takin pills
just to try and synthesize my thrills
but i guess its the hidden pain that slowly kills
shedding tears of a clown
gotta wear 2 masks
just to try and hide this frown
cuz these days are just getting longer
and I am not getting stronger
im breaking down
im wearing out
so for now ill get on the mic and shout
just to try and tell you what im al about
cuz it feels like im alone
no one sees my strugles
or knows the pain ive grown
so let me tell you a little something about life
before I go and take my own
you gottA CHERISH THE small moments
and express your love
even when it's known
you dont wana end up like me
with a demon caged inside
begging to be free
I had a perfect life
and i let it slip away
without even puttin up a fight
sometimes I stay up at night
wonderin what happened to the light
its been years since Ive seen the fam
and the woman of my dreams is with another man
the bills are stackin up
i really dont have a plan
theres only so much pain
you can take away with maryjane
sooner or later you gotta find other ways
suicude the temptation only grows stronger
the more that I ponder
so for now i rap
cuz music is my escape
It allows me take my wounded heart and fill the gape
as I travel to an atered reality
where the only thing that matters is musicality
no calamity
I can finally escape my own insanity
and finaly be free
but until that day comes
theres only 1 thing in my future I can see
a bullet to the head with the trigger pulled by me
true a pussys way out
but happiness for real